Liberal Larry On P. Robertson

After a history lesson and a primer on current events, Larry addresses P. Robertson's call for the assassination of Hugo Chavez.

With a red beret and a thick Latin accent that makes the panties of every progressive American glisten with dew, Hugo Chavez is much more than your typical Marxist revolutionary. . . . . Its no wonder, then, that Pat Robertson has issued a death warrant on Papa Chavez.

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For the lack of a more gender neutral noun, our founding "fathers" never intended for one man to wield so much power over the mouth-breathing, biblethumping lemmings of Jesusland. That's why they constructed a wall between church and state - the only thing in the Living Breathing Constitution that isn't ethereal or anachronistic. It's for our protection, people! One word from this Osama Bin Laden of the Religious Right and Christian sleeper cells could be activated all across the nation, acting all Holier-Than-Thou and making gay couples feel like second class citizens. Before you know it, Robert Schuller would be sawing off the heads of fornicators on The Hour of Power.

Venezuelan Vice President Charles Rangel (D) had it right. Calls for the assassination of world leaders should be done only by the seasoned professionals on Air America, where they can be directed at members of the Bush administration in a humorous, light-hearted fashion. What Robertson did goes beyond the pale. In a free, democratic society like Venezuela, he'd never get away with it.

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