One Very (Dissident) Frenchman

Our friend at Barcepundit finished second in the "2004 Weblog Awards - Best European (Non-UK) Blog" competition behind The Dissident Frogman. Here is a (not so) little taste of the winner:

1. From The Misérables:

The second and rather long article by Brian Moynihan in the Sunday Times is so consistently spot on that it is almost scary.

It is also somewhat embarrassing when it comes to picking quotes, frankly.

So here's a, well, pot-pourri of course:

« Going, going... the old man of Europe
(Chirac) the great survivor is on his way out, leaving France in a state of decline »

What do you call a great survivor at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.

I know, you're not in for easy jokes but I just couldn't help it. And because I'm the one pulling all the work here doesn't mean I should climb the walls, does it?

« Gaullism, tetchy in its defence of French interests, pining for grandeur, has moulded him.
One of its principal features is to lump Americans and the British together as "les Anglo-Saxons", and to mistrust both. Another (...) is the general's dictum that "with the English one must bang on the table and they will submit". »

Right. Tell that to Napoleon's horse, Charly.

« Forty years ago, de Gaulle described the Americans as "the greatest danger in the world today to peace". »

1. Now you know where Lefties and their Islamofascist allies borrowed their pathetic rhetoric.
2. Now you know why I regard de Gaulle as a great man up until, say, June 18th, 1940. Tops.

« Chirac is more circumspect. But he went out of his way to praise the philosopher Jacques Derrida, (...) as one of the "major figures of the intellectual life of our times". Derrida was notorious for calling America the "world's leading rogue state". »

1. Now you know where Lefties and their Islamofascist allies borrowed their pathetic rhetoric.
2. Now you know why I regard Chirac as a great man up until, say, November 28th, 1932. Tops.

And as a side note, I'll had that being called 'a major intellectual' by somebody like Mr. Chirac tells you a lot about what Derrida was, and was not. If you get my meaning, wink, wink.

« As to the British, the general once said that Churchill had told him: "Each time I must choose between you and Roosevelt, I shall choose Roosevelt." »

Which is one among many reasons why Churchill still is a great man.

« There is a tangible fear that the French vision of the EU, politically integrated, socially conscious, is being replaced by an English- dominated collection of loosely linked states with a liberal, free-market economy hostile to Gaullist notions of state-backed industries and étatisme. »

Fear? What do you mean fear? Gee, I can't wait for that glorious day.

All right, this is just an appetizer really. I do insist you go and read the whole thing, as it is addressing some key French issues, above and beyond Jacques C., King of the Thieves -- from de Gaulle to that quarter of the French workforce made of public sector employees rushing the country on the road to bankruptcy.

However, as the French expression goes, here's a last one for the road:

« The socialists under François Mitterrand misused public funds on a scale undreamt of by Juppé. They created a building consultancy, Urba, with 16 regional offices, in order to siphon money from public works contracts into party coffers. It contributed £2.4m to Mitterrand’s re-election campaign. Police and investigating magistrates were stymied when Mitterrand announced a grand amnesty for those being investigated for financial misdemeanours. This applied to all elected representatives, including himself. »

That's the French way: bribe and swindle your way to the top, and then pardon yourself.

2. I See A Red Button Rising (Just press it)

3. From Frogman Goes Shopping.

Where it says: "Fermeuh ton Bush".

If you were culturally superior enough to be born French, you'd already understood this dainty bon mot, and would already be jesting heartily at President Bush's obvious stupidity.

However, you're probably not, so I have to explain: it's a pun that can be understood as "shut your mouth" and it is very funny because 'Bush' sounds like 'Bouche' in French, which means 'Mouth'.

But wait, there's more. Here it gets extraordinarily intellectually superior: for some extra witty fun, the French Intellectual Humorist Philosopher behind this very funny de l'humour motto wrote 'Fermeuh' instead of 'Ferme' ('close' or 'shut').
Now it's not because he can't spell and conjugate his own language, although any contact with French emails and forums is enough to grant him the benefit of the doubt on this one, but because it looks just like he's writing as a kid would speak in a mocking way.

Which is so extra funny when he you think of it.

Okay, that's enough French de l'humour culture for today.

4. I Want The T-Shirt

Quote of the Day:

« Supporting Socialism for fear of Fascism is suicide for fear of death. »
--
Samizdata Illuminatus

And a good time was had by all!